Reflecting back on my blog entries, practically every post includes an exclamation of "I can't believe it's already (January, March, October)!" This year has shot by like a anachronistic rocket, faster than any other of my paltry 24, and I'm left with quite a bit of anxiety for 2010.

Great things have happened in 2009, from Repo! The Genetic Opera Road Tour madness to Miley Cyrus wearing RockLove jewelry in her music videos and The Today Show. The website is starting to get a consistent quantity of daily sales, and I'm starting to sleep at the end of the month knowing I can pay my bills.

But 2010 will be the make-it or break-it year. My goal of elevating RockLove to a full press-recognized, store-carried brand is so within reach it's terrifying. Recently I conquered the realm of (semi)affordable self employed health insurance... the world is mine for the taking.

I know it's not the most *business* savvy approach, but I feel the best way to defeat New Year woes is to write them down - and then burn the paper. I'm feeling candid and nostalgic, so I'm going to share my fears here.

1. New jewelry - I'm starting to wonder if my pieces are special enough... if they are accessible to all ages, if I can market them to mass media, rather than just the alternative niche. So far I've had some great and terrible luck with press, and part of that is because my jewelry is small and wearable - the "everyday jewelry" is not what pops in a fashion photo shoot. Maybe it's time for a higher end couture line, a new line of inexpensive shinies, and then start discontinuing those that fall in between? Less time focusing on PR, more time focusing on designing.

2. Miley Cyrus - I have to make it count! I'm so lucky that she enjoys my jewelry, and even more blessed that she wears it publicly... but as a business, I need to advertise that it's a RockLove product. Never have I had a celebrity client with such a huge following, plus beautiful modeled shots and stills from TV are practically falling from the sky into my lap. I've been sitting on the phone numbers for Teen Vogue and Seventeen for a week now because I'm scared to cold call the Fashion Directors and say "Hi, I own RockLove jewelry and want you to feature Miley Cyrus wearing my necklace in her latest music video." I'm terrified of MISSING a huge opportunity, and my bad experience with a past PR agent has left me gun-shy about hiring another. But I'm also fearful of an influx of orders and expansion before I'm equipped to handle it.

3. I'm burnt out. When will I get my fire again? I keep waking up later and later each morning... but NOT working, taking a break freaks me out more. I can't even watch a movie without jewelry in my hand or I feel like a bum. I'm obsessed! But that only fuels the fatigue.

4. I'm holding myself back. I'm fearful of expansion and not being able to handle it. I know there are things I could do to take it to the next level. I also am not emotionally ready to take out a big loan for either larger scale production or a press campaign.

5. Retail or Wholesale? As I stated above, I need to decide which I would rather focus on next - press and publicity to vastly increase my online retail sales (more stress and cost upfront, but greater profit IF it pans out)? Or focus on working with stores, embracing the wholesale frontier (far less profit, but more credibility as a brand). I've been stalling on my damned catalogue for months now... I need to just commit, print, and send it to stores. I've been researching stores since RockLove was conceived; I know who I want to approach. Right now I'm being a textbook example of self defeating prophesy.

That's the list of 2010 agida inducing topics... hopefully in a few months I'll be re-reading this post, yet again stating "I can't believe it's already March!" and laughing at how much I stressed about a simple calendar change. More importantly, I hope by then, I would have made progress!

We'll make it through! Here's to a new year of challenges! A new year of jewelry! And a new year of saying EFF-YOU to a desk job!